Wednesday, February 20
10:05 PM
What is fucking wrong with all of us now? Why can't we be like before? Where all of us are friends, getting along perfectly well. I don't like it like that at all. It's getting so miserable for all, well at least me. Maybe he is trying too hard, but it's because he feels neglected. However, it's not all his fault right? It's the vibes that was sent to him. Everything seems to be in a mess now. I'm confuse, unable to think through properly. Let's just be how we were before, sa`rights? But I know it's impossible, can never be again. I'm missing those moments when we went biking together happily, like nothing seems to matter. Guess everything happened for a reason, predestined. If only I can make a change, I would hope for a way out to all these, making it how it was before.Okay, that was some heartfelt thoughts. Like seriously. Going to school is like routine, not an enjoyment for me anymore. Mrs Tang was being sucha bitch, kept on ranting on about me being bright and intelligent rubbish. Well i'm telling you, I'M NOT. I'm just a fucking retarded bitch who you just seem to think too highly of me. I'm not a pachyderm who goes around boasting about my results, cause there are others who have done better than me. So there's nothing to be proud of, seriously. Hence, FUCK OFF. I want to transfer school, so don't come suffocating me with all those crap about my mother being reluctant for me to change school. She may be unhappy but I think if I were to transfer out of SCGS, I will excel better. I am drowned by all your hopes and it stresses me like fuck. Please, stop all your nonsense. What makes you think you are capable of changing me, the more you force me to do things that you want, the more I will rebel. The more I would like to do things that you dislike. So bitches, stop making me who you want me to be. I would rather live for myself, more than you telling me that I should live up to your expectations. I'm not that bright or being able to have self-discipline to control myself. Stop pushing me, if I were to break down and collapsed one day, you are the primary cause of it.